


Things you said when...

by mitchymarns



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Break Up, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Hockey, Injury, M/M, National Hockey League, Toronto Maple Leafs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 21:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitchymarns/pseuds/mitchymarns
Summary: Just a collection of 'Things you said' prompts with everyone's favorite Leaf boys.





	Things you said when...

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is. My first fanfiction. Never thought I'd actually have the confidence to post anything, but with the new year, I decided maybe I should give it a go instead of doubting myself. I hope that writing this and forcing myself to post it will help me gain a bit of confidence in my writing skills so I can get the motivation to finish some other works of mine. So after a solid three or four years of being head over heels obsessed with the Maple Leafs, here's the product.
> 
> Although it is a bit short, I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> ...Also, Ao3's formatting has me a little bit confuzzled. But hopefully this looks alright lol

**Things you said when you were scared**

The whole arena went completely silent, the collective gasp enough to send shivers down Auston’s spine. The team went silent too- not that it mattered to him. Auston couldn’t hear over the ice cold fear coursing through him. His eyes were glued to those numbers-16- that lay facing him on the ice.  


The hit was as dirty as they come, Mitch being thrown up against the boards face first like he was nothing. The sound of Mitch’s helmet crashing on the ice, and the heavy thud as Mitch’s body crumpled, was deafening to Auston even with the sold out attendance to tonight’s rivalry matchup versus the Sabres. The red that flecked the white ice glued Auston’s eyes to the scene, freezing him in place. Holy shit.  


After a few moments, Auston regained the ability to move and, ignoring the pleading of his teammates and coach, fought his way onto the ice. He was numb, the shock still coursing through his body, and he nearly slipped once he reached Mitch.  


Normally, Mitch would get up from a hit like is was nothing, but now he just looked up pitifully at Auston, and Auston felt his heart clench.  


Mitch’s lip was split wide open, and the impact from the boards had caused a nasty cut along the right side of his face. Blood was flowing steadily and slowly out, and Mitch began to shake as he realized it was Auston he was looking up at. Hits were to be expected in hockey, but this one had shaken Mitch to his core.  


Auston bent down to gather Mitch up, try to help him back to his feet. Mitch squeezed Auston’s wrists tightly and stuttered, blue eyes wide, “When we get back to the bench- please, don’t leave me.” Auston just squeezed him tighter and nodded, giving a silent promise that he wouldn’t leave not now, or ever. 

 

**Things you said I wouldn’t understand**

Auston had never seen Mitch so angry. He was used to Mitch having rather loud emotions, ranging from excitable puppy to full on raging bull. But he had never experienced this- anger so intense that Mitch was blank, unreadable. It scared Auston to the core knowing he had been the one to cause it. He flinched when Mitch opened his mouth, his blue eyes cold as steel.  


“You know what? No. No, you don’t know how it fucking feels to be me, Auston. You really actually don’t. You don’ know how easy you’ve got it. I’ve been friends with two hockey robots- you and Davo- and both of you are the exact same. You don’t know what it’s like to have your abilities questioned because apparently you’re too fucking small to defend yourself, or that you’re probably not good enough to make the team for some fucked up reason or the other. I’ve had to prove myself time and time again- but please, go on about how bad you have. How awful it must be to be loved and admired and worshipped.” He spat the last part out, shaking with pent up anger, tears in his eyes.  


Auston was stunned, tripping over anything he tried to get out. They stared at each other, the tension so thick that it was beginning to choke Auston. Mitch was the first one to break, before Auston’s shock at the whole situation wore off. The tension finally shattered as he began to cry, head dropping to rest on Auston’s shoulder, and Auston’s arms automatically came up to curl around Mitch’s leaner form. They didn’t apologize, both too prideful to admit they had overreacted, but Auston did press a kiss to Mitch’s head with a murmur, “You’re not useless, Mitch. You… You’re amazing and I- I love you.”  


Mitch looked up then, face blotchy red from crying, and while he didn’t verbally return the sentiment, he smiled and pressed a sweet kiss to Auston’s cheek, squeezing him as tight as he could. 

**Things you said when I was depressed**

Mitch limped back into the locker room with the rest of the team. Another overtime loss after a hard fought game against the Predators. They still got a point, but… It stung, the the atmosphere was anything but cheerful, even with that one point gain. But, Mitch knew he would bounce back quickly, and he assumed the rest of the team would too. They always did, always had to.  


It became quite evident to Mitch that today was not going to be one of those easy losses. His heart sank when he saw Auston, head in his hands, sitting in his stall by himself while the rest of the team got ready to leave. He was still in full uniform, save for his skates and jersey, which lay in a crumpled pile next to him.  


Mitch knew why Auston was especially crushed by this loss in particular. It happened to be a loss in a long string of losses for the Maple Leafs, but especially for Auston, who hadn't’ scored a goal or shown up in recent games. Reporters were starting to write articles (which were absolute trash, if you asked Mitch) about how Auston had been a waste to the team, how his performance thus far had been lackluster and overhyped. Quite frankly, those lies pissed Mitch off as he saw what it was doing to Auston, who had before always had enough confidence for the both of them. After catching wind of those articles however, Auston’s confidence quickly diminished into fragments of what it once was.  


When the rest of the team had quietly filtered out of the locker room, Mitch finally approached Auston. He unlaced his own skates before sitting next to his brooding boyfriend, who didn’t acknowledge Mitch’s presence other than leaning into his side, resting his head comfortably on Mitch’s shoulder. For once, the talkative Mitch kept silent, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down Auston’s arm until he felt him start to truly relax. Only then did he press a kiss to the top of Auston’s head and whisper, “You’re still amazing to me. Those reporters can shove it up their ass.” That garnered a smile out of Auston, and to Mitch at least, that was better than winning any hockey game.

**Things you said that I wished you hadn’t**

“Mitch, please try to understand,” Auston begged softly, eyes wide and pleading as he squeezed Mitch’s hand, “I really do love you- you’ve got to know that. But I- I just don’t think… I don’t think this is gonna work out well. For either one of us.”  


Mitch gaped at Auston, and a nervous laugh forced its way out of his mouth, “You- you’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re joking.” When Auston just continued to look at Mitch with the same pitying look, Mitch’s heartbeat picked up frantically in fear and he stuttered, “Oh my god… you’re seriously breaking up with me?” He felt his eyes sting with tears and he fought the urge to break down and sob when Auston just silently nodded.  


Realistically, Mitch understood Auston’s reasoning. They were both young NHL rookies. Coming out, especially coming out as a couple, might very well end their bright careers, not to mention cause them strife in their personal lives. So in a sense, Mitch knew Auston was trying to protect him and himself. Those thoughts didn’t provide any comfort to him however as Auston slowly got up, disentangling himself from Mitch, and walked out the front door of his apartment. As soon as the door shut with a soft click, Mitch finally let himself sob, as no matter how much Auston thought he saved him, the best thing about Mitch’s life (to Mitch at least) just walked right out as easily as it had come.

**Things you said when you thought I was asleep**

It had been about a month since Auston had broken up with Mitch. Mitch liked to think he had been pretty good at hiding his devastation, but judging from the concerned looks he got from his teammates and friends, he hadn’t succeeded. Mitch knew he wasn’t the same anymore- there was no joking, chirping, laughing, or even much talking out of him for the past month. He just couldn’t bring himself to even pretend to be the happy person he once was. He isn’t, and there was a good chance that that happier Mitch wouldn’t emerge for a long, long time, considering what he had lost in Auston.  


That said, Mitch had no idea why he had agreed to a playoff party at Mo and Jake’s apartment, especially given that most of his teammates were attending (including Auston). Something inside Mitch desperately wanted to go, wanted to try and be that happy person again and have fun with his friends (which deep down, he missed dearly). He knew it’d be hard, but here he was.  


It had been harder than Mitch ever imagined. Sure, Marty and Naz kept him busy for most of the night, and he watched some stupid videos with Brownie and Willy, but just having Auston in the same vicinity as he was had Mitch aching to be beside him again. He met Auston’s eyes once during the party, and that same familiar aching feeling began tearing at his heart, and tears stung his eyes.  


“Hey Mitchy! There you are,” Marty grinned, slinging an arm around him, “We’re about to start up a game of poker if you wa- hey, are you ok? You look like a kicked puppy.” He poked at Mitch’s shoulder, and Mitch ducked his way out of Marty’s embrace.  


“I’m fine,” Mitch said quickly, quietly, scrubbing at his eyes to keep from crying in front of the guys, “I’m just really tired all of a sudden. I- I’m just gonna go lie down.” Mitch hurried out of the room, leaving a worried looking Marty and pushing harshly past a distraught looking Auston. Mitch felt a slight burst of anger at that; like Auston had anything to be upset about.  


He reached one of the bedrooms in Mo’s apartment and curled up with his back facing the door, clutching a pillow tight to his chest as he felt tears roll down his face. Fuck, he hated this feeling. He missed Auston so much that it hurt, and the feeling was magnified further when Mitch realized that he could never have him back.  


For awhile, Mitch lay there just silently crying and shaking, until he heard the door creak open. He froze up, trying his best to pretend to be asleep in the hopes of the intruder would walk away. Mitch appeared to be on quite the bad luck streak however, as he heard footsteps approaching and then felt the bed dip. Mitch had no clue who it was until a gentle hand was set on his shoulder, and he heard the voice that he had missed so much.  


“I’m so sorry, Mitch,” Auston said in a whisper, and with a shock, Mitch realized Auston thought he was asleep, “I never wanted to hurt you like this… I wish I had the balls to tell you when you’re awake, but I don’t think you want to talk to me again, huh?” He laughed, and Mitch heard the hitch in Auston’s voice. He was crying, and Mitch’s heart clenched. Even now, the thought of an upset Auston hurt Mitch: he only wanted him to be happy.  


“I’m so stupid,” Auston continued, his voice shaky and uneven like he was having trouble controlling it (and failing miserably), “I thought I was helping us out, and all I did was make it so much worse… I miss you so fucking much.” After that, Auston began to cry in earnest, and al Mitch wanted to do was hug him until he stopped.  


He didn’t though, not quite. Not really wanting to give up his position, Mitch slowly snuck his hand and placed it over Auston’s, lacing their fingers together. Auston tensed and murmured, “Mitch?” Mitch didn’t give any verbal answer, instead just tugging Auston into laying down and turning over to hug him. Auston didn’t feel the need to say anything else either, and just returned the embrace, tightly holding Mitch to his chest. It was the first time Mitch truly smiled in weeks.

 

**Things you said when I missed you**

Mitch was miserable. The doctor might as well have told him that he was dying when he said that Mitch would have to miss almost a week or more with his twisted ankle. Mitch hated being out for just a few days with the flu- being out for a week was going to be hell.  


What made it worse was that Mitch was all alone with his injury. The Leafs had an away trip and since he was injured, Mitch was made to stay home and rest, which meant no Auston to dote on him and comfort him. Not only was it incredibly lonely, but Mitch hated being alone when he was in pain. All he wanted to do was cuddle with Auston, but Auston wasn’t there and Mitch couldn’t even skype or talk to him because Auston was so busy with the game. It drove Mitch crazy.  


Mitch was currently watching the Leafs vs Wild game, the Leafs in Minnesota for one of their road games. Mitch was ecstatic because the Leafs were up 4-1, and had been on quite the losing streak lately, but everytime Auston showed up on screen Mitch felt like crying. Auston scored a hatty, making the game 5-1, and Mitch cheered loudly in his empty apartment, jumping up and out of his blanket cocoon excitedly. He completely forgot about his ankle, which exploded in pain as he landed on it. Mitch shakily laid back down, curling back up dejectedly in his blanket. On-screen Auston was still celebrating his goal, hugging Willy and Zach close and Mitch felt the loneliness creeping back in, worse than it ever had been. He ended up shutting the game off and buried himself beneath a mountain of blankets that could never replace Auston.  


Mitch groaned as he began to wake up, wriggling as he felt tight constraints around his chest, holding him in place. Mitch managed to crack open his tired eyes, only to feel his heart race in excitement once he realized who was spooning him. Mitch rolled over and kissed Auston, squeezing him tightly. Auston’s eyes fluttered open at that kiss and he grinned at Mitch, “Surprise… I got home early,” he purred, running a hand through Mitch’s soft downy hair.  


Mitch hummed, nuzzling his head into Auston’s touch, having been so deprived of it for the past few days, “I can see that,” He chuckled and then lowered his voice, squeezing Auston closer to his body, “I missed you so much…” Mitch’s voice cracked as he choked on some of his words, and Auston gave Mitch a comforting, but sad, smile, cradling Mitch’s face between the palms of his large hands.  


“Hey, Mitch- it’s ok, calm down,” Auston said to ease Mitch as he began to whimper, the feelings from his time alone bubbling up, ready to explode, “I’m right here, ok? I’m not going anywhere else for a long time and then you’re coming with me. I won’t leave ya alone again… I missed you too, bud.” His thumbs softly wiped tears from Mitch’s cheeks and Mitch managed a small smile.  


“I love you, Auston.”  


“Love ya too, Mitchy.”


End file.
